Mama's Boy is Not Always a BAD Boy

As an engaged couple, my fiance and I, are filled with joy, excitement, and anticipation these past few months. In fact, we want our wedding day look similar to a fairy tale wedding with prince-princess like feeling, a Royalty touch, plenty of flowers, enchanted wedding themes, whimsical fairy lights, wood elements, and glass bulb decorations.

Our imaginary fairy tale weeding theme

As you all know, it is important for both the bride and groom to emotionally prepare for their BIG day because there is a feeling of unexplained butterflies in the stomach, nervousness, anxiety, and fear; so many feelings come together to make you feel a host of emotions. As most brides dream to make their wedding day the most memorable day in their lifetime, I too tried to give proper attention to the preparations before the wedding.

My future mother-in-law takes over the entire wedding planning and preparations and my opinions were not considered. It was always her decisions that are considered to be final take. I can’t figure out “WHY.” On discussing this issue with my fiance, he always supported his mom due to which we used to have horrible fights and arguments. It looks like his mom is enjoying our struggles.

The "QUEEN" instructing rules to me

It shocked me to visualize that, is this the same guy who came to our house some time back and who took permission from my father to propose me. How can I forget that dreamy day when he got down on one knee to propose me and gifted a red rose which I kept in my closet safely. You know, that day and that act remained in my mind as an unforgettable memory for a lifetime. Those were the days when he treated me like a princess with lots of love and care.

My fiance proposing me

Initially, I thought he respects elders and that was what we were taught in childhood. So, what is wrong if he is mama’s boy, at least he listens to elders’ advice. Today, he is listening to his mom and may be, with time; tomorrow, the same way he will listen to me. My greedy thought in addition to my past experiences (most of the guys I happened to meet before my fiance were not really committed and they don’t show emotions. As a typical woman, I am quite argumentative kind of person and all the guys whom I encountered before hate me as I create drama for attention) made me move forward to proceed with the wedding proposal, even though I didn’t like my fiance to be mama’s boy.

As time passed by, I had to face more and more awkward moments where I need to bow my head and just listen to my future mother-in-law’s instructions. I just kept my mouth shut each and every time I was insulted as I know as usual my fiance will never support me. The dress, the venue, the makeup, the guests list, and meal menu all are decided according to my future MIL who by now I gave a pet name the“QUEEN.”

When it comes to beauty, I am very particular about my looks, especially my hairstyle. Nowadays, “wedding haircut” or “wedding chop” and “Hair Dye” is trending. It is not uncommon for brides to change into a second outfit between the wedding ceremony and reception, but the wedding haircut trend which means the newlyweds slice off their hair halfway through the day to change the entire vibe of the look between the wedding ceremony and reception is new fashion style. To make things worse, the “Queen” is in awe of the ongoing trend.

A brides cutting off her hair halfway through her wedding

I literally argued regarding this issue with both the “Queen” and my fiance. But, they are adamant and say that I have to follow this trend as this will depict us to be on par to present glamorous lifestyle. I was really saddened and confused and one day I woke up to see myself in my dreams that my hair chopped off and dyed. Therefore, I told my fiance that I am not comfortable with this idea. What he said next, made me pack my bags and run away forever.

You may be wondering what was his reaction, obviously he will support his mom, this is the type of behavior she was facing from the beginning, but ignoring it thinking with time he will change.

Not all mama's boys react the same way. Their reactions may vary depending on their own personality traits.

Here are some examples of the possible ways mama's boy may react;

1. Understanding and Supportive:  He may try to understand his partner's perspective and try to find a solution that respects both her feelings and his mom's beliefs.

This is an ideal response, as it shows a willingness to prioritize his marriage over his mom's opinions; of course, this happens if he too feels his partner's opinion is logical and realistic.

2. Defensive: Some mama's boys become defensive and try to protect his mom's beliefs, even though he may not agree with her.

This person is a "sad man" who feels torn between his mom and his partner.

3. Open Communication: This mama's boy may encourage an open communication between his partner and mom to help them understand each other better, of course; acting as a mediator, if any disputes arise.

4. Avoidance: Some mama's boys might avoid confrontation by not discussing the issue at all.

This can lead to suppressed feelings and unresolved conflicts.

5. Choosing Sides: In some cases, mama's boy may prioritize his mom's ideology over his partner's feelings;

Such guys have no empathy for his partner, they blindly advice his partner to follow his mom's instructions. 

I feel, it is important to understand what personality trait your partner belongs to, even though he is a mama's boy. It is always better to communicate openly and honestly about your concerns with each other and work together to find solutions; respect both partner's feelings and values. In addition, adjustments and compromises are key factors to maintain healthy relationship.

What do you think???